Relationships are not always plain sailing and there are many times when we should speak up before things hit the rocks. A good conversation can prevent a lot of pain down the line so it’s worth plucking up the courage to have that hard discussion now.
Learning the art of good conversation is one of the most important skills to develop in a relationship, helping to build a strong and trusting foundation. I get many messages from people suspecting their other half is up to no good but few seem to be able to ask some questions themselves. Creating space for dialogue can even prevent such suspicions arising in the first place.
There are many different conversations that build a great relationship. Some are aimed at saving a relationship that’s falling apart, whereas others mean plucking up the courage to tell the other person about what you need and want from them.
In some cases you might find it hard to start a conversation with your partner. They might shy away from discussions or fail to engage. In that case it’s sometimes easier to be direct and say it plainly: “we need to talk”. If you’re nervous to do it in person, you could send the initial message over text: “There are things on my mind. Can we please talk sometime?” This will help you get over the first hurdle.
Relationship experts suggest preparing before you have important conversations. Think to yourself beforehand what you want to accomplish by the end. You should think of your partner as a collaborator and not an opponent — you need to come out the other side as comrades, not enemies. Start the conversation by inquiring if the other person has any issues; you may find the same thing is on their mind.
There are also important conversations that might seem less essential but will pay off in the long run, especially when it comes to your satisfaction. This doesn’t always have to be needy or demanding; often you will find your partner is curious and wants to know how to increase your pleasure.
So how should you discuss with your partner what makes you feel good in bed? I get many messages from men asking for tips on how to please their partner, but the truth is all women are different and enjoy different things, so a conversation is the best way to find out what makes your other half tick. Women should also inquire with their partners as to what makes them fly to the moon.
If you’re not satisfied you should take the initiative to have the conversation about what would make your time between the sheets more enjoyable. If you’re nervous to speak up about what you want, you could try initiating things yourself in the bedroom. But if this doesn’t work then a good conversation is in order. Perhaps ask your partner what their ideal bedroom experience involves, and then follow up with telling them your ideas of a perfect night.
Whatever issues you want to bring up, having the conversation sooner rather than later will pay off in time. It’s not easy to speak from your heart, but over time you will build trust with your partner and get better at communicating.